‘Natural Orifice’ Surgeries: Dare you read on?

Forget all the fun things you can stick into your juice box and ass—you’ll never guess what you can pull out! 

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Forget the “appendix through the mouth” procedure, people! Doctors around the world are going further than ever thought possible with “natural orifice” surgeries; removing gallbladders and kidneys by way of the vagina (!)—and procedures are in the works for surgical extraction from the anus, Newsweek reported.

But wait, there’s more! Doctors who are particularly pumped about the whole things have started the Natural Orifice Surgery Consortium for Assessment and Research. That’s NOSCAR; get it? Natural-orifice surgeries are supposed to be faster and less painful than laparoscopic surgery, cheaper and they leave no scars. All you have to worry about is, well, pulling weird shit (pardon the pun) through your cootch and rear chute. Really. A kidney-through-the-ass? Brave new world, I tell you.

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