Archive for the Sex & Dating Category

Muslim Women Enjoy a Surgical V Replacement

Posted in Sex & Dating with tags , on June 14, 2008 by keronii

An increasing number of Muslim women are undergoing hymenoplasties to restore their hymens and fool unwitting grooms-to-be into thinking the babes are still untouched below-the-belt, the International Herald Tribune reported.Gynecologists told the Tribune that more Muslim women in recent years have requested certificates of virginity before marriage to prove to husbands-to-be the women are chaste. The surgery itself involves “one semicircular cut” and “10 self-dissolving stitches”. Awesome.

That trend in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements; which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; there are medical tourism packages to countries like Tunisia where the procedure is less expensive.

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The issue of this surgery’s necessity in order to enter matrimony has seen much debate in France, where arguments about the prejudice over a woman’s virginity was thought to have been replaced by the country’s sexual revolution 40 years ago. A court in Lille, France, two weeks ago annulled a 2006 marriage of two Muslims after the groom discovered his bride was not the virgin, as she had claimed.

He left his wife in bed and returned to wedding guests still reveling to announce his discovery. The bride was returned to her parents’ doorstep that evening. Oh, how little things change.

Safe Sex Anaconda Attack

Posted in Sex & Dating with tags , on June 14, 2008 by keronii

In Bangkok yesterday, a man was found dead, pants around ankles, with a condom on, with by several snakebites on his inner thighs. Ouch!

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According to news24.com, the snake was also found dead in the man’s clutched fist with some remaining snake parts in the man’s mouth. The police believe it was the man’s way of fighting back. The condom was properly secured on the man’s penis, without semen present.

That just sssssssssucks.

The Sex-Only Diet

Posted in Sex & Dating with tags on June 14, 2008 by keronii

Forget grapefruits, celery, green tea and all that crap; we did some number crunching on our favorite pastime and figured out it might just be the best diet around.

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There are a mere 7 calories in a teaspoon of semen. (The average man ejaculates 1 to 2 teaspoon per release.) Meanwhile, an hour of vigorous sexual activity will burn 34 calories off a 150 pound person. (Getting a hammock or some hot fudge involved is purported to be a good way to increase calorie expenditure.) Plus, we all know men (and women) can become sexually aroused while dreaming, so that ‘I’m tired’ groan is no excuse.

How to judge a dude by his food

Posted in Sex & Dating with tags , , on June 11, 2008 by keronii

I’m single, dating and a bit of a food person (to put it mildly). I can’t imagine dating someone who isn’t a food person or, worse, someone who eats the same thing every day.

I know, I know—I’ll probably end up with a guy who lives on Spaghetti-o’s and Bud Light. And it’ll probably serve me right for being as judgmental as I’m about to be.

See, I often think about the so-called rules of dating, as they apply to the ladies: You know, like don’t order just a salad because you’ll be pegged as the diet girl or don’t ask for anything “on the side” because he’ll think you’re a high-maintenance diva.

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I felt like it was time to turn the dinner tables on the boys and offer up my own gut reaction to some common first date orders. And based on your response the last time I did something like this, I fully expect you to weigh in with your own opinions.

Steak – It’s hot when a dude orders steak. That said, everything in moderation. I went out a few times with a tattooed pseudo-stud who ordered steak compulsively. It was cute —until I realized he was doing Atkins. Just like you don’t want to know when we feel fat, we don’t want to know that you’re on a fad diet.

Fish – I really like you! You’re confident and comfortable in your own skin. You appreciate the finer things and you’re a little bit health-conscious. Again, just don’t order it every time, or I’ll start thinking you’re uptight.

Pasta – Perfecto. Just please don’t wear a bib. And if you order something boring like pasta primavera, own it. Say you’re in the mood for something simple. Otherwise I might picture myself in Napa sipping a pinot while you’re reaching for a Michelob Light.

Dumplings – You’re cute. Cute as a button, or, er…a dumpling.

General Tso’s Chicken – You’re not one to go against the grain, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with an easygoing fella.

Greek salad – Points for culture, but just like we can’t do the salad, you can’t either. I don’t care how much feta is in there.

Chicken tenders – Is your momma coming to dinner with us, little buddy?

Pad thai – Safest bet on the menu, but the fact that you suggested Thai in the first place is cool.

Fajitas – You’re sizzling company. Just make sure you don’t get any of that sizzle on my sweater.

Turkey – If it’s not Thanksgiving and you’re not at Subway, don’t order turkey. I can’t explain it but just trust me on this one.

Game – Uh, as long as it’s not accompanied by hunting-with-Daddy stories, do your thing. And one more thing…please don’t sport mandals.

Pizza – If we’re at a Pizzeria or a pub, it’s all good, but if we are at a white table-clothed restaurant, you might want to aim a little higher. I mean, what’s for dessert—karaoke with your frat brothers?

Burger – You’re a solid man of good taste. You know what you like and you better give me a bite.

Sushi – You’re a keeper. Especially if you do the omakase and If you have the courage to try blowfish, I’d like you to meet my family.

Dessert – Let’s save this for the fifth date. By that time we both won’t care about an extra five pounds.